I could not remember how to find my blog. I couldn’t even remember what the title was. A great flush of gratitude washed over me when I saw that old bookmark waiting for me to rediscovery it.
It’s been years. My last post, titled “Is blogging dead?” dated August 2017.
I was homeschooling a 3rd grader and preschooler. Some days pulling my hair out over the constant sibling squabbling and at-times painful isolation. We had only left our Choteau farm a year prior and we were still adjusting to a settled life in the big city (!).
For so long I turned to my blog to pour my heart and soul into documenting our story and now, so much time has passed. And as it does constantly and without regret, so much life has happened.
Our story is simple and free from big news flashes or fancy word work, but it is worth documenting, for their sakes. And for mine! As I find great therapeutic benefit from turning off my brain and allowing my fingers to paint words into existence.
Look at them! Those kids of ours. I see their faces, their smiles and I can hear their laughter and silliness and I feel so blessed, grateful, lucky to be their mother, yet these words seem to small to fully describe how I really feel. I think I mostly feel unworthy. Then the other part of my brain, the part that is learning how to be nice to myself, reprimands me for feeling unworthy. I AM WORTHY and I deserve them and they deserve me. See, I can learn new behavior! I got it now – I feel love. That immediate, never-ending, painful and wonderful and irreplaceable love only a mother understands.
One month of summer has passed. Addi will begin as a 6th grader – MIDDLE SCHOOL – yikes! in 2 shorts months- and Landon will begin his second year of public Montessori, as a second grader. Both kids flourish and thrive in school. They have wonderful friends and are responsible, well-rounded students who are kind and compassionate humans. What more could we ask for?
Addison is working hard this summer to level up in gymnastics. She has been competing for the past 2 years as level 4. She is so driven and passionate for the sport and we love watching her mature and grow – physically, mentally and emotionally. She has an amazing team and wonderful coaches and I know she will continue to accomplish big things.
Landon’s loves do not include organized sports or organized anything! He loves to ski but refused to join the ski club. He prefers to ski alone, with his close buddies or with Daddy. He quit taekwando two years ago because, in his words, “the kids are loud and its too crowded.” I ask him often to rejoin, but he has no desire. He still very much wants to be a famous paleontologist and he dreams of traveling the world searching for new dinosaur species. He won’t promise to name his first discovery “Mamasauraus”!
I am absolute in love with building my Young Living business. I live a lifestyle, making choices everyday and then I get to tell others. No selling. No pressure. No fake marketing and sales junk and lies to get people to buy things. I get to be me, focusing my passion for the non-toxic lifestyle by teaching other families how to choose the same for their family. I like to say I operate a small, but thriving small business where I get to educate people on choosing a non-toxic lifestyle to support a life of wellness, gratitude and joy. I especially love seeing my kids freely making choices that I know, years from now, will benefit their health and the health of their families. It is so empowering to know I am helping to create a healthier generation of humans and by the choices we intentionally make, a healthier, safer home & environment too.
I am still enjoying taking pictures. I have grown so much through the images I create. I am finally seeing ‘my style’ taking shape. Something I have wished for for many years. I have a confidence to create it in my own way and that feels so wonderful. I hope to continue to grow my business as a family photographer in our area of the world. Every time I get to ‘work’ with my camera I feel especially grateful to have found what I am so passionate about and that I have the time freedom to pursue that passion.
At the end of each day, no matter what – I like to ask myself, “How does it get any better than this?”
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