I am a person who believes and has faith. I am very private when it comes to my relationship with Jesus. If I were asked “Do you believe in God?” or “Do you have faith in Jesus’ love for you?” my response would be, “Yes, with all my heart.” I feel most connected to God surrounded by his creation, on my kayak on the river or hiking through a field of wildflowers. I’d prefer to sit on a mountain top, alone, when having a conversation with God. I pray silently and thank God, often, many, many times a day. Most people wouldn’t realize I was. I’d prefer that my personal walk in faith be a private walk.
Internally, somewhere deep inside of me, I have a drive to know. To know the truth, to know what is fact, to know how and why things happen. This drive to know comes from the part of me that loves science and biology. The biological part of me goes perfectly with the part of me that believes. There are many, many things we do not have the evidence to confirm, but we have faith in these things. Without faith I would feel so lost and empty. I believe we are not meant to know all the answers. I believe that when the day comes when we are walking side by side Jesus one of our rewards is to finally understand and know all the truth.
This adventure, or whirlwind of craziness, that was my pregnancy and the birth of Landon, has only solidified my belief – my belief in the power of prayer and my belief that miracles really do happen. So many people, all over this country have been praying for Landon for so many months. When he was born his story spread like wildfire. I was getting and continue to get promises of prayer from our family, friends and complete strangers. I know with all of my heart that these prayers saved my son’s life. The way a community of believers, of strangers, came together to ask for God’s mercy in my son’s name will forever bring me to tears. I cannot express what this has meant for me – these prayers gave me my son’s life. I am eternally grateful.
Undoubted confidence in faith ebbs and flows. At least for me it does. So often I have asked God for some sort of proof; proof that what my heart desires to know is real. This goes back to my desire to know truth and having the proper evidence that would allow me to call a hypothesis’ truth. Landon is my proof and my evidence. Every time I look at him I feel God’s love for me and I have proof of God’s mercy, grace and great power. Although this journey has in ways been a horrible nightmare, I thank God for the opportunity to see his proof. Somehow, in a demented way, the impossible journey Landon was forced to take has been an answer to a prayer for me. God decided to give me proof though Landon.
Prayer did move a mountain in our life. Have faith in our Lord’s love and pray.
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