Addi woke me up about 3 am, “Mama, I need a bath. I had a potty accident.” In a middle-of-the-night-slumber I undressed her, ran a warm bath and changed her sheets. We, both too tired to speak, said only a few words to each other. Before redressing her I was lathering her dry winter skin in Vanicream and she said,
“So how exactly did your belly make me and Landon?”
Addi and I, 37 weeks pregnant.
Let’s just say I was not expecting that question at 3 am! I cradled her face in my hands, kissed her cheek and said, “Honey, that is a great question, but it is not a question for the middle of the night. We will talk about that, but not right now.” and I tucked her back into bed.
There are many topics and lessons a mother looks forward to talking with her daughter about. The miracle of life and the miracle of love being an extra special topic, but it snuck up on me a little too quickly. It’s a wild ride this parenthood thing and as she gets older the previous challenges of when and what to feed her and how to comfort her cries have been replaced with introductory conversations on sex. Okay. Wow. I’ll just hold on a little tighter and keep this in the back of my mind: I read somewhere that the challenge of parenthood is to only mess them up just enough that they still have a sense of humor!
In the past when she asks things like, “Why are my eyes blue?” or “Why do we poop?” often just saying “That is how God made us.” suffices her. However, one day that backfired! She was doing something smart. I don’t remember exactly what, but I said to her, “I’m the mama. I made you, so I get to decide.” Without skipping a beat she replied, “You didn’t make me, Jesus did.” I had a feeling that this time she needed more of an explanation than, “God made you.”
I am comfortable talking with her about the s-word, in age appropriate way obviously. I have always been open and completely honest with her in everything, including any question she has ever asked me. Only twice that I remember I told her it was too grown-up a topic, but I promised I would tell her all about it when she was old enough. That pacified her, for the moment. Although we do everything in our power to maintain her sweet innocence, my biggest worry is her losing that innocence to early. But at the same time I want her to always know she can come to me for honest, up-front answers. With the internet, the media and her peers so readily available I want first go at answering her questions, even if those questions come up in the early hours of the morning.
So how did I explain to Addi how exactly she was made? I didn’t! Around lunch time the next day she said, “So mama. It isn’t the middle of the night anymore, aren’t you forgetting something?” Before I could answer her big question she got distracted with something and she was off. It hasn’t come up since. I was a little relieved, because I need the extra time to brainstorm an appropriate, simply answer to her complex question!
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