Every three hours for six and a half weeks, while Landon was in the NICU, I pumped my breast milk. I pumped to provide Landon with fresh milk everyday for his g-tube feedings before he could nurse and I also pumped to keep my milk a’flowin for the day Landon started to nurse. I was able to stockpile a large amount of frozen breast milk while providing the hospital daily deliveries of freshly pumped milk.
Dylan tried talking me into tossing it when he got his elk this past fall. We were able to fit elk and milk in our freezer, so he dropped the debate. But now, a day before the movers get here I needed to get rid of a bunch of it. Some of it is near it’s expiration date so I pulled out the very newest milk and tossed the rest. We really don’t need it. It is nice to have to use in his cereal and to have around for bottle feedings if I wanted to sneak away for a few hours, but there is just too much to move.
Some might think why bother blogging about this, who cares. I know Dylan doesn’t understand the attachment. But it was a difficult thing to do. I think it has something to do with the amount of time I spent pumping alone without my baby. It was a lot of time I sat thinking, crying and praying and wishing that I was holding and feeding my baby instead of the pump. It isn’t easy bonding with a hospital grade, industrial strength, blue, bulky milking machine. I know I was doing the best possible thing for my baby. I truly believe the breast milk helped him grow and gain weight before the doctors expected him to.
Pumping isn’t fun, it is a lot of work. It is time consuming, painful, unnatural, and tiring – without the positive reinforcement of tiny eyes blinking up at you.
I hate the thought of wasting it! I considered thawing it and bathing in it. Who knows it might be the fountain of youth!!
Good bye breast milk. RIP in the land fill!!
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